Tuesday, October 7, 2008


I had developed moderately severe depression while I was using hormonal contraceptives. I was approaching the point of actually seeking treatment, but I decided to try going birth control pill free first, as depression is a known side effect. It worked phenomenally! I have been pill free for over three months now, and for the most part I've been feeling great! However, the mild anxiety I was experiencing prior to quitting has not completely disappeared. In fact, it's significantly worse at times.

My first two months off the pill I had what I would call moderately severe anxiety attacks. I was completely befuddled at first, but learned pretty quickly a few tricks that helped me cope and calm down more rapidly. In month three, things started to dramatically improve as far as my anxiety goes. I haven't had any attacks at all this month, and only some brief anxiety when presented with tasks that tend to trigger anxiety for me.

I had been doing so much better, until today. Boom! Out of nowhere, an attack. It's much less severe that what I had been experiencing, but it really threw me for a loop because I had been doing so well. It's especially frustrating because I can't for the life of me figure out anything at all that seems to trigger it, especially this particular instance.

But I guess I'll just have to take comfort for now in the fact that things are still improving. I haven't felt depressed at all this month, so anxiety or no, that's a huge positive step! :) Things are looking up, and I actually feel like I'm good at something again. I'm actually enjoying science again. I actually feel like there's a possibility I can succeed.

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